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L is for Life Finds A Way

Spent the last couple of days being really down. I know all the tricks and gimmicks. I kept doing the things that I know eventually will bring me out of this funk. But last night, I didn't want to even look at my computer.

Surprise, surprise, this morning the power was out. So, no computer, no water for shower, no emails to check, no way, except for my cell, to talk to anyone. What was amazing to me was that it was exactly what I needed to do: UNPLUG.

There is so much on the news, I'm just not participating. I do care deeply. I want justice for whomever did the deadly bombing. I want God to tell me why this had to happen. I just wasn't in a very grateful state of mind. My spiritual side was on empty. I'd just spent a couple of days being high as a kite, imagining the possibilities, and now I'm feeling silly for having ever been so happy.

Which of course is silly. Life goes on. I will never know the answers to all of the things that occur, all the curve balls that are thrown at me. God has a sick sense of humor, sometimes.

A couple of my children and grandchildren are going through some heavy times these days. God, I think that hurts more than if it was happening to me. As my good friend says, “I get my Wonder Woman wristbands and repel the shots.” I can handle things that come at me. When they involve one of my kids, or my family, that's when it hurts the most.

Now I'm missing my dad. I'm wishing I could trade places, fix the problems, wave my magic wand, make the Happily Ever After come to real life, rather than in my stories. Somehow, it seems counterintuitive to write about romance when I'm sad.

But, I'm going to mine it. Deep. Hard. Raw. I'm going to feel it and not run away from it. In the circle of life, the cycle of life, death and all things in between, is the miracle of just being present to the world. I'm going to stay right in the middle, instead of at the outsides, running away, where all the predators pick off the strays.

And I know life will, in fact, find a way. The miracles are still here. I'm just distracted. In the meantime, I live in faith and hope for a brighter day, and some understanding of why it had to happen this way.

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Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 9 comments
Cheryl S. - April 17, 2013

*hugs* I hope things start looking up for you. I think in the end you have the right attitude. Sending positive thoughts your way 🙂 Will also keep you in my prayers.

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    Sharon Hamilton - April 17, 2013

    Thanks, Cheryl. Appreciate it more than you know.

    Reply
Judy - April 17, 2013

Own it, Sharon. Without the bad days, how would we know to appreciate the good? Having said that, sometimes it's just too hard to keep being strong. Being vulnerable is not a weakness. Sometimes, thinking happy thoughts isn't the answer. Sometimes it's necessary to dig deep and explore the ugly stuff, the unpleasant stuff, the stuff we wish would go away. Sometimes it's there we find strength we didn't know we had and courage we didn't know we possessed. Just don't quit. I know you won't. Pep talk over. 😉 Praying for peace of mind and heart.

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    Sharon Hamilton - April 17, 2013

    Thanks, Judy. You are right, of course. Pep talk appreciated.

    Reply
julie beasley - April 17, 2013

Stay postive Sharon, a day at a time. There are just somethings beyond our control, through no fault of our own. No matter how hard we try. The Chinese believe everything in life happens for a purpose, good or bad

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    Sharon Hamilton - April 17, 2013

    Thanks, Julie. I do think everything is for a reason, and there is a grand plan.

    Reply
LD Masterson - April 17, 2013

Get a mug of hot tea, find somewhere quiet outside to sit, preferably with a dog next to you, and talk with God for a while. It will make your soul feel better and everything else will fall into place.

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    Sharon Hamilton - April 17, 2013

    That's a great suggestion. I have 2 dobies who could do the job well. And a God who listens…Thank you.

    Reply
Raymond Alexander Kukkee - April 18, 2013

Well said, Sharon. Inner peace, my friend. You can do it. Recognize that bad things have happened before you you survived. See my 'n' for Nostalgia. (incomingbytes.com)

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