M is for Mother
I had a lot of choices for the letter M. I'm running 2 days Late, which could have been the one I did yesterday for L, but life is doing what life does. And I've had some good insights in the last 24 hours about what it takes to be a mother.
When your children grow up you have to let them do what they are going to do. We always want what's best for them. Always. We raise them as best we can, given the tools available to us. I think most of us mothers have some kind of intuitive sense of what is right and good for our children. But there are times when stress, or other factors affect our decisions.
There's a fine line between helping, and truly loving our child, though. We can all look back on our own childhoods, and see evidence of mistakes made that have perhaps caused us unnecessary pain. We swore we would not do the same for our own children. But like I said, life gets in the way, and we are, of course, not perfect. Does anyone else hear their own mother's voice when we've had those unpleasant conversations, or when we were angry? I know I do.
Part of loving your child, or anyone, is in remembering the boundaries we need to establish for ourselves. I've been guilty of putting myself second many times. Not good when it causes confusion and pain. And often the recipient doesn't understand the cost. No one can monitor our internal cost like we can.
And then I have to remember I don't control the world. I have to let it all go, just do the best I can. A quote on my mother's funeral program reads, “There are two things you give your children. One of them is life. The other is wings.”